The Parking Lot Guy (Update)

I received an email from parking lot guy not long ago (but about a year after the parking lot meowing episode). It boggles the mind that after facing rejection the first time around, some of these men come back for more, and I am forced into yet another “update” blog. I have a theory about that to be addressed in the next blog entry. Here is the email:




elizabeth in pensacola



ebeth,


so no hot make out dates in walmart parking lot lately? u must be working too hard. If ur looking for a volunteer, then look no farther. have willing mouth for you and can travel.


Name withheld to protect the drunk?



If he was sober when he wrote that I will eat my hat.

Let’s dissect this interesting email. First of all, “ebeth?” Two dates, the second of which ended with meowing while trying to make out in a parking lot, does not elevate us to nickname status. I have never been a girl to have shortened my name, and after multiple emails (in which I signed my full name every time) and two dates, Mr. Meow obviously didn’t pick up on that little quirk of mine. Not really shocking considering the arrival of this latest email, is it?

Secondly, I really dislike emails that are written in texting short-hand. Considering I correct my sons’ texts when they misspell or use text short-hand, I really don’t love it for texting either. And do I even need to mention the use of “farther?” I know the farther/further distinction is a toughy, but picking the wrong one is like nails on a chalkboard.



Mini Break for a Grammatical Lesson

Farther: Show a relation to physical distance. If you can replace the word farther with “more miles” then that is correct.

• We drove farther than I thought we would on a tank of gas.

• He wanted to run farther, but his legs hurt.

• My house is farther from the beach than yours.



Further: relates to metaphorical distance or depth. It is a time, degree or quantity.



• There needs to be further discussion on that issue.

• I need to look further into the details of the plan to build the house.


Since I am not looking miles and miles to make out with someone in a parking lot, it is more of a metaphorical search, Mr. Meow should have used “further.”

Moving on…

Lastly, “have willing mouth for you and can travel?” Ewwww! My first thought upon reading that line was, “What does that even mean?” It sent a shiver down my spine…and not in a good way. I’m not sure how that offer is supposed to be appealing. Does he mean he will travel to a parking lot near me? And he wants to make out? Or does he want to talk? Nah. Or maybe he just needs to sing me a ditty, Since the parking lot theme has come up twice, three times if you count this email, I am beginning to wonder if I have some sort of vibe that elicits this kind of invitation from men. If so, someone please help!!

I let Mr. Meow off the hook and did not respond to the email. I decided to color him drunk (it’s the only way I can wrap my mind around it) and call it a day!