Split Personality Guy

Category 1: Multiple Personality Disorder
Category 2: Too much too fast syndrome
Category 3: Those who fail to embrace their own reality

I met this guy on Facebook. He friend requested me. I didn't know him, but we had a mutual friend. We didn't communicate at all for a long while. He posted these odd little animated videos that were based on stories he had written. The graphics were very juvenile and the voices sounded robotic. I just figured he was making some point I didn't really get. But OK, he was an artist type. Upon further review of his facebook, he was living in a smll town in New York and auditioning for mostly local theater and sometimes bigger things in New York City. He was 46 years old and a massage therapist living with his mother. I will just let that last one go...

I saw a story he published on facebook about a girl in a bar who began to flirt with him. She even took him to a private area of the bar. He thought she was going to flirt some more and got excited at this prospect. To his utter disappointment, she started trying to sell him Amway. I thought that was pretty hilarious. I wrote him a little note on his Facebook wall telling him I felt his pain and that he should check out my blog.

He read the whole thing and started writing to me about it. He liked it a lot and wanted to keep in touch to talk about writing and what we were both trying to do with it. Cool. I am thinking it will almost be like a little writing club where we can get ideas, etc.  One day he asked if he could call, it would be so much easier, he said. Sure, what the heck. He lives in New York. I will never meet him, so why not? He called that night and we talked for a while. He seemed nice, a little intense. He asked if he could call again. The first week or so, he called a lot. I could tell he liked me and was starting the too much too fast syndrome. He wanted to plan to come visit and said he could really see himself liking me. I was thinking this was just going to be about writing and it never crossed my mind he would be thinking of visiting. But he is from New York. People say things like that and they never happen. So I wasn't worried.

One night on the phone, he dropped a little gem. I am going to send you a friend request under my real name.

"Real name? Arthur is not your real name?"

"Arthur is my stage name. My real name is Marco." The mind reels. Stage name? Huh?

"I want you to start getting in the habit of calling me by my real name, Marco if we continue this."

Well, sheesh. First continue "this?" "This" sounded like a loaded word the way he said it. What is THIS? And I guess I can try, but when you have seen someone's name on your facebook and talked to them on the phone, it is not easy to just shift mid-stream.

"Arthur, I mean Marco."

"Hello? Oh hi, Arthur, I mean Marco."

Ugh.

Not to mention: THAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!!! I don't think BIG RED FLAG even begins to describe that a non-famous, local theater actor with odd little animated video stories has a stage name, and multiple facebook pages, and introduces himself with the stage name. Is it just me? Maybe it is...maybe it is I who has lost perspective on "normal." Yeah. No. Pretty sure it's not me. Phew!

And then too much too fast syndrome reared its ugly head. He called and asked me that if I were to date anyone else while he was calling me, would I please not tell him. He tended toward jealousy and he would not handle that well. And he would do the same for me. Well, thanks, I guess. But at that point I started hoping he would happen upon the girl of his dreams in New York. Immediately. And should I have told him I was acutally dating someone...kind of? Nah...he already told me not to...

At some point during our little...what do I call it? Not a relationship, obviously. Not really a friendship because the whole split personality thing precluded me from knowing either Arthur or Marco well enough to call "Friend." How about experience? That'll work. So at some point he seemed to recogize that he was a bit intense with the calls and the jealousy.

"I need to take a step back, " he said. "I know I can be overwhelming."

I always get so excited for a glimmer of self awareness.

"What if I just call you once a week....I will call you every Thursday around 9."

Nothing like being locked in to a weekly phone date, but ok. Better than 4 nights a week and emails on top of that. We will try that. I find myself thinking at this very moment, why? Why did I agree to a weekly phone date? Already there were many Red Flags...multiple names, self-expressed jealousy, too intense, living with this mother (see, I couldn't just leave that one alone). It is a mystery. I should have just said "no thanks."

But we had our weekly phone date. Once. The second week was near my birthday. I was busy that week and tired and just didn't feel like talking on the phone. So when he called, I didn't answer. He called twice in a row and left messages. I was just too tired to talk...well, to him... The next morning I texted him that I was tired and so sorry I missed his phone calls.

No response.

Oh well. I am not sure how long it took me, at least a week, to notice that I hadn't heard from Arthur/Marco. I checked my Facebook and low and behold, they had both deleted me! Can you believe it? I couldn't resist sending a little message to find out why I deserved so harsh a punishment.  And here is what I sent:

"I was a little surprised to find myself no longer your friend. I hope the best for you."

Here is what Arthur sent back (verbatim):

Actions speak louder than words. You're actions of not returning my phone call spoke volumes. You're very nice and lovely woman, but I wasn't really feeling it. Maybe I ask too Thanks for wishing me your best. Actions speak louder than words. You're actions of not returning my phone call spoke volumes. You're very nice and lovely woman, but I wasn't really feeling it. Maybe I ask too much, but I don't really think i do. Thanks for wishing me your best

If you care, it shows.

If you care, it shows.

And here is what Arthur sent two minutes later (verbatim):

Actions speak louder than words. You're actions of not returning my phone call spoke volumes to me. It said Your just *NOT* that into me(or at least not equally) I have no room or patience for that anymore.

You're very nice and lovely woman, but I wasn't really feeling it. I think I would overwhelm you. Maybe I ask too much, but I don't really think i do. I just know what works for me and what does *NOT*. Thanks for wishing me your best I wish you the same. Hope you find someone who *YOU* are equally into as*THEY* are into you. -Marco-...

(I swear to god, that is verbatim. Marco signed Arthur's FB message)

And here is what Marco sent one minute after that:

Actions speak louder than words. You're actions of not returning my phone call spoke volumes to me. It said Your just *NOT* that into me(or at least not equally) I have no room or patience for that anymore. You're very nice and lovely woman, but I wasn't really feeling it. I think I would overwhelm you. Maybe I ask too much, but I don't really think i do. I just know what works for me and what does *NOT*. Thanks for wishing me your best I wish you the same. Hope you find someone who *YOU* are equally into as*THEY* are into you. -Marco-..

(And this time, Marco signed his own...)

I guess he just needed me to be clear that they both felt that way and that I shouldn't contact either of them again. Bummer. I could have been like two for the price of one...